My Ex Doesnt Want Me to Contact Him Again

Today I'm going to testify y'all the three most prevalent thoughts that your ex is thinking about if they don't contact you.

It's probably too relevant to mention that each of these three things that I'g going to talk nigh today are based on my feel as a jitney and founded on award winning research (more on that in a minute.)

So, if you've ever wondered what is going on in your exes listen when they don't contact you lot look no further.

Your answers are below!

What The Heck Is Your Ex Thinking About When They Don't Contact You?

In all there are three thoughts or overlying concepts that are going to be very prevalent in your exes listen if they don't contact you,

1. The Pendulum Swing
2. They Have To Contact Me First
3. The Meridian End Rule

Now, I don't expect you to understand any of these concepts. In fact, I'd be shocked if yous did because exactly one tertiary of the answers are from my ain findings and I oasis't really talked virtually information technology that much.

But I'm rambling.

The remainder of this commodity is going to be very straight frontwards.

I'm going to define each of these concepts for yous.

Permit'south begin with my personal favorite.

i. What Is "The Pendulum Swing?"

Before I start getting philosophical I'd like to ask you if you know what a pendulum is?

No?

Well, rather than accept me sit hither and explain it for y'all it's probably better if I prove it to you,

Essentially it's something that swings from left to right.

By and large y'all'll run into a lot of physics professors using it to explicate 1 of newtons laws simply I actually retrieve it's the perfect analogy to describe what goes on inside of someone when they go through a breakup.

Pretend for a moment that the pendulum actually was an indicator for how y'all were feeling internally after a breakup,

On one side of the spectrum (the left side) you have all of the bad feelings you could exist feeling,

• Acrimony
• Resentment
• Depression

And on the other side of the spectrum (the right side) y'all accept all the expert feelings that you could exist feeling,

• Missing your ex
• Loving your ex
• Wanting to get back together

Most of my clients would kill to have their exes feel this style about them.

Speaking of clients, ane common complaint I hear from them almost their exes is that they wish they didn't become all of these mixed signals.

One moment their ex is asking them something like,

Do you ever remember about getting dorsum together?

Almost implying that they do want to get back together and then the next minute they tin't get a response from them. They are left in that atrocious limbo land.

The pendulum explains what is going on in this case.

Over the years I've witnessed an interesting pattern taking place.

Exes tend to get through a pendulum of emotions subsequently a breakup.

Where one moment they start feeling adept,

And the next moment they start feeling bad,

It's during these "bad moments" that yous'll find that your ex doesn't want to talk to you.

Interesting to think that there is this internal battle going on within your ex, isn't information technology?

But if you doubt this concept exists I'd like to turn your attention to your own experience with breakups. Yous've probably experienced this pendulum of emotions, haven't you?

Then, that is the outset thing going on in your exes head after a breakdown that would crusade them to non contact you lot.

Let's move on to another common thought I see a lot of the time.

two. They Take To Contact Me First

I want to testify yous something.

Concur on for a moment while I wait it up…

Ah, there information technology is,

This is a film of me taken about ten years ago a few weeks after I had been through a breakup.

Look how awful I look.

I'k kidding!

Anyways, I posted this picture because every single time I await at it I think of that intermission up.

I call back very clearly I had a mantra,

There is no manner I'm contacting her first, she is going to contact me

I'm pretty stubborn.

I am a taurus afterwards all.

Anyways, my ex was pretty stubborn too which meant that nosotros were in the midst of an ballsy stand off,

Perhaps the most interesting affair was the reasoning for why I wouldn't contact her offset.

Ten years ago I was xviii years old.

Which meant that I wasn't exactly the most experienced with relationships. It also meant I still bought into this idea that subsequently every suspension up there is a winner and a loser.

And in my mind I'd start to "lose the breakup" if I reached out to my ex.

Therefore, she was going to have to talk to me first if she wanted to talk to me.

You lot're dying to know who contacted who beginning, aren't yous?

It was her.

She was actually very clever in how she approached it to.

You lot see, in 2008 Hurricane Ike hit my hometown,

I grew upwards in a little place called Friendswood, Texas which is very shut to where the video above was taken.

Anyways, the Hurricane went over our business firm and she reached out to cheque on me and make sure I was ok.

To this day I have always regretted how mean I was to her when she reached out. You see, upon seeing that I was "winning the breakup" I got very arrogant and said something similar this to her,

I regret it because I call back she was but trying to exist overnice simply "winning the breakup" was more important to me at the fourth dimension.

Anyways, I am telling you this story considering I desire you to run into how seriously some people take this concept of making you reach out first.

And it could be going through your exes mind if they don't talk to you.

3. The Peak Cease Rule

The summit-end rule has been revolutionary for my book readers who have really embraced it.

Why?

Because information technology gives yous insight into how human beings think and act when they remember experiences.

So, what is "the peak-end rule?"

Put simply, human beings retrieve experiences based on how they felt at the summit of the feel (it's most intense function) and the end of the experience.

In other words, when nosotros retrieve dorsum to experiences we don't account for the sum of it'due south parts nosotros account for mostly those two parts.

It looks a trivial like this,

Those ii snapshots of fourth dimension make upwards the majority of our memory when we think back to the experience.

So, what does this take to practice with your ex non contacting you.

Well, information technology's actually an extension of what I talked nearly above with the pendulum.

If you lot recall, the pendulum moves from left to correct, from bad to good.

The acme-cease dominion describes the motivation for why the pendulum moves.

Consider for a moment that your ex is remembering your time together and they beginning thinking about the pinnacle,

The superlative of your feel together is arguably the strongest and most exciting role to think near.

Nearly likely it'southward going to cause the pendulum to swing to the right,

A few days later your ex starts to think the end of your relationship,

This of course causes the pendulum to swing to the left as they recollect how bad they felt at the cease of your time together,

Practise you encounter how these to concepts work together in tandem?

Exercise yous see some of the motivation behind why your ex may not want to talk to yous?

It's pretty crazy, right?

Allow'south exercise a quick recap because I dropped some advanced stuff onto your plate that I normally only relieve for my clients.

Determination

What nosotros talked nearly today is pretty advanced and so I'yard sure there will be a lot of questions in the comments. If you lot didn't already know I answer all of my comments personally.

Sometimes I'm a fiddling slow virtually getting back to people just they practice go answered eventually.

So, don't hesitate to ask a question if something confuses y'all.

Let's do a quick epitomize,

• The are three prevalent thoughts that your ex is probable to recall nigh if they don't contact y'all
• The pendulum
• I'1000 not going to contact them first, they'll have to contact me showtime
• The summit end rule
• The pendulum is simply an analogy for the trajectory your emotions take afterward a interruption upwardly
• Adopting a mindset of "they'll have to contact me first" is an example of stubbornness
• The peak cease rule describes the motivation for why your exes emotions run a risk trajectory later a pause upwardly

Again, if you accept any questions don't hesitate to ask them below.

ferrisvemook82.blogspot.com

Source: https://www.exboyfriendrecovery.com/what-is-your-ex-thinking-if-they-dont-contact-you/

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